Giving Myself Tonight


Tonight is one of those exceptions when I allow myself to fall apart, so I can pick up the pieces and keep fighting through this journey 😦

It’s amazing how easily something can reinforce your limitations that you already thought you had accepted, or denied to yourself that you had.  Tonight I realize that I have been trying to convince myself that I’m accepting certain limitations, when indeed I’m so far from it 😦  You know…chin up, head high, think positive, don’t let life’s challenges get in the way, there’s always someone who’s suffering worse, so count your blessings.  The pep talks we give ourselves over and over and over, so that we keep going and keep trying and keep fighting. 

I sit here typing and am completely devistated.  It feel like my mind is being robbed and am completely heartbroken.  The chronic physical pain is more than any one of us should have to live with 24/7, yet sometimes I feel that I can take that over the mental limitations.  This constant fibro fog that never seems to lift and feels like you are operating at half (if that) mental capacity is just cruel. 

So tonight, I’m giving myself the night to get it out.  Permission to be upset and angry and then I will pick up and keep moving forward with more awareness.

Tomorrow is a new day 🙂  Thank God!

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