“Butterflies are a symbol of metamorphosis.
Fibromyalgia gives us the opportunity to
change, grow, and become stronger.”
~ Author Unknown
This morning, my husband and I sat on our back patio, quietly chatting and enjoying a hot cup of coffee, when this beautiful creature fluttered in to join us. I was so happy that once it finally landed on a flower, we were able to capture a picture of it with hubby’s Blackberry.
It is so rare that we ever see butterflies. In my heart I think that this was a subtle, yet positive sign I was meant to observe.
This week has challenged me physically, mentally, and emotionally. The combination of physical pain and feeling overwhelmed mentally, with everything going on with my body, has reduced me to tears more days than not. I’ve allowed other people’s ignorance impact me emotionally, much more than I normally would, had I been dealing with the same situation on a “good” day.
Yesterday, I was rudely awoken at 3am, with what would be the beginning of an excrutiating day, consumed by the worst migraine I have experienced yet. For the first couple of hours, I was debating whether or not to get my husband to come home and take me into the ER. At the same time, I didn’t think I could even endure a car ride to the hospital. At that point, I couldn’t handle myself, let alone trying to entertain my two children. The pain was making me violently ill, and was so intense that I started to worry that maybe something else was very wrong. The biggest fear that entered my thoughts, was that it was an aneurysm. It truly felt like something was going to burst inside my head. For those of you who suffer from migraines, you may be nodding and thinking, yup…that’s a migraine. Fortunately, I have had very little experience with migraines, up until the last couple of months. I have a very short history to compare yesterday’s event too, however I’ve never felt that magnitude of pain in my head before, and it was really starting to scare me.
I’m someone who typically avoids hospitals at all cost. As a matter of fact, the last time I went to the hospital for myself, was when I gave birth to my daughter, just over 4 years ago. For me to be ready to head to the ER, it has to be pretty brutal, and it was, however I waited it out. By mid afternoon, I was finally able to keep water down, and the migraine was starting to ease.
I still cannot get over how understanding and compassionate my 8 and 4 year old children were yesterday. They made every effort to be very quiet and play nicely together. We always make sure that there are easy, healthy snacks that are safely accessible for the kids to grab, when desperate times call for desperate measures. Yesterday fit the bill, to a tee. I had thanked and praised them a number of times throughout the day, for being so awesome for me, and they were later rewarded with dinner at McDonalds, curtesy of my hubby 😛
If my children have learnt anything positive about having a “Chronic Mom”, it is that they not only demonstrate compassion toward me when they can see that I’m struggling, but towards each other, and others in their lives. They are such gentle souls, with an amazing grasp of awareness towards others, and I’m very proud of them both.
When I woke up this morning, the very first thing I noticed was that I had absolutely no signs of a migraine! Not even the nagging pressure in my forehead that has not let up for the last few weeks. Inside, I was jumping for joy!
The pretty butterfly that came to visit this morning, was the icing on the cake. Its timing was so perfect, and seemed to have a purpose. A few theories have crossed my mind, and they all point to it being a sign of hope.